The culinary landscape is rife with divine mashed potato recipes, all full of heavy cream, butter, and cheese. But here I was, stuck in neutral with my dairy-free mashed potatoes, never able to find the right combination of margarine or chicken fat or soy milk to compete with mainstream concoctions.

Then it hit me. Why mess around with hydrogenated fats and freak-of-nature soy substances when the classic combination of eggs and oil could satisfy all my desires… Mayonnaise! I balked at store-bought mayo, due to its excessive flavorings and reformulations for shelf-stability, so I got out my food processor. The recipe’s not scientifically tuned yet, but it did go over pretty well on Thanksgiving. Here’s the jist of it:

• Five pounds of Yukon Gold potatoes (they retain more moisture than Idahos when boiled, and they’re sweeter)
• Four best-quality large eggs
• One cup light/pure olive oil (not extra-virgin)
• Chicken broth
• Two heads garlic, roasted
• Salt
• Pepper

Peel the potatoes, cut in half, and simmer about thirty minutes until tender.

In the meantime, coddle your eggs — boil them gently for one minute to raise their temperature a bit and help kill nasty bacteria. Crack into your food processor, get the blade going full speed, and gradually pour in the oil. You’ll end up with a thin mayo that should be relatively flavorless. Keep it at ready.

Press each cooked potato half through a potato ricer into a large bowl — more consistent, smoother, and easier than hand-mashing. Add mayo, mixing thoroughly to combine. Add chicken broth until you attain the right creamy consistency (could be between 1-2 cups … it’s a lot of potatoes). Squeeze garlic out of roasted husks and blend thoroughly with potatoes. Salt and pepper to taste, maybe some margarine if you like.

Surprisingly, these potatoes still taste great as leftovers, reheated or cold.

Any other mashed potato strategies out there?