The New York Times reports that the Orthodox Union will ask AgriProcessors/Rubashkin to change their slaughtering procedures.

Discussion of the shechita controversy is the first topic covered in Nachum Segal’s radio interview of OU Executive VP Rabbi Tzvi Hersh Weinreb and President Stephen Savitsky. Rabbi Weinreb’s main points:

** USDA had found nothing objectionable
** OU is studying video carefully
** Scientifically, shechita is a humane process — possibly most humane
** PETA has agenda, would want everyone to be vegetarians; no animals even for pets or as seeing-eye dogs
** Torah says we should not be cruel to animals, permits us to eat meat according to halacha
** PETA’s video done over 7 months; 18,000 animals slaughtered over that period; statistically, anything can happen
** Shechita, or any slaughterhouse, is not pretty
** Problems recorded in video not a problem unique to shechita; when shechita works correctly, it’s humane
** OU responding to public, looking into objections
** OU’s success comes with responsibilities, OU will live up to responsibilities
** OU “not at war” with PETA

The Des Moines Register reports that the USDA is investigating the AgriProcessors facility: they’ve had meetings and no legal actions have been taken.

BODAVI BAKERY — OPEN!
After a long wait, the defunct Tuler’s Bakery of Newton Centre has been replaced with Bodavi Bakery, brought to you by Susan and Ricardo of Gordon & Alperin fame. This shomer shabbos, pas yisroel, and pareve establishment is now open for business, so if anyone with a good memory would like to do a point-by-point before-and-after comparison of their baked goods, please send it in.

DEDHAM KRISPY KREME — VA’AD SUPERVISION!
Rabbi Samuels of Newton has personally inspected the Krispy Kreme on Route 1 in Dedham and it now carries a secondary hasgacha from the Va’ad Harabonim. I believe its first hashgacha is Diamond-K.

SHIUR BY BRANDEIS MASHGIACH — SUNDAY!
Rabbi Zerkins, the mashgiach of Brandeis University’s Sherman Dining Hall, will be giving a shiur explaining his role as overseer of kashrut. The shiur will be held in the back of the dining hall at 5:30PM on Sunday, December 5th. There will be a half-hour presentation and then an open forum for questions.

The concept of a Turducken evokes several different responses from people. Many people consider it a monstrosity - an abomination that sprung from the mind of a carnivore with too much free time. Others question the motives for doing such a thing. “What’s wrong with a traditional turkey with stuffing? Did we really need to add other birds to an already classic dish?” Another more adventurous group, sees the Turducken and asks “What does that taste like? I bet it’s awesome!“. They see the hours of work involved and say “But it’s so cool! I’ve got to make one of those.” And it’s that final group to which I proudly belong. I made a Turducken for Thanksgiving. Gather ’round, loosen your belts and I will tell you the tale.

First, some background. Turducken (or Tur-Duc-Hen as it is sometimes spelled. Get it? Tur-Duc-Chi doesn’t roll off the tongue the same way) is a culinary creation where a de-boned chicken is stuffed into a de-boned duck, and that zaftig duck is then stuffed into a de-boned turkey. When you are finished, the re-closed turkey looks more-or-less normal. Stuffings (or dressings) are also part of this endeavor - sometimes a different stuffing for each bird, and sometimes the same stuffing throughout. 8-12 hours in the oven, and you’re ready to serve. As quoted in a New York Times article about Turduckens, “It’s about as formidable [to carve] as a meatloaf.” There are no bones, so you can cut slices right through the middle, and get a cross-section with all three meats.

The archetypal turducken is often attributed to Chef Paul Prudhomme. I studied his recipe and started making plans. For the boneless birds I would enlist the help of my friendly neighborhood butcher. I decided to go with three different stuffings, as suggested in the recipe. ‘Andouille Sausage Dressing’? Sounds good. ‘Cornbread Dressing’? I can do that. ‘Shrimp Dressing’? I’ll pass on that one. For stuffing #3 I decided that we would make ‘Wild Mushroom Kasha (Buckwheat) Pilaf’. I just made that one up, but it seemed like a good choice for stuffing the chicken. Almost like a traditional Shabbos afternoon meal of roast chicken & ‘kasha varnishkas’ (kasha with bowtie noodles). It’s an Ashkenaz thing.

Chef Paul suggests ‘Sweet Potato Eggplant Gravy’ to top it all off. Am I the only one who doesn’t think that either “Sweet Potato” or “Eggplant” belong in the same recipe as “Gravy”? I skipped that part. Anyone who didn’t wan’t cranberry-sauce was going to have to eat it dry. Not that I expected anything to be dry - the inner two birds kept their skins. Do you know how much fat renders from duck skin? Inside this bird, fat from the duck would be going outwards to the turkey and inwards to the chicken. My wife and I were a little scared of keeping the skins, but how else would the meat stay together? More on this later…

In the next chapter of this story, I’ll tell you all about how I made Andouille Sausage for the dressing of the same name. The story will star a meat grinder, kosher sausage casings, a water-powered sausage stuffer, and an electric smoker. Stay tuned.

Face it folks, the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), like everyone else, has an agenda. They use shock footage to make unassuming folks lose their lunches in the hopes we’ll disavow the consumption of animal products and cast snide stares at the barbarians who insist on eating charred carcasses. And to pursue that agenda, they’ll cross any line: PETA’s recent use of Holocaust imagery to shame the public into forgoing meat was not merely disrespectful; it added whole universes to the word “disrespectful” (to borrow a wording of Andrew Sullivan). In case you missed it last year, PETA displayed their distinctly unethical “Holocaust on Your Plate” exhibit — likening victims of the Shoah to supermarket-destined chickens and cows — not a stone’s-throw away from the New England Holocaust Memorial. According to a Globe editorial at the time, “PETA says it seeks to be a source of conscience regarding the abuse of animals. Yet its arguments and its preposterous exhibit collapse when their members think nothing of inflicting suffering on human beings.” These folks have zero credibility in my eyes.

Right up front, that’s where I stand. So I took PETA’s accusations of “Slaughter Horrors” at Agriprocessors’ Postville, Iowa facility with a large grain of kosher salt. I choose not to give in to horror footage (Iraqi hostages, US Marines in Faluja, or otherwise), so I have not viewed the video itself, but I have read PETA’s description of conditions at the plant, and plenty of news articles. So far, I’ve found the article at the Jerusalem Post to be the most comprehensive.

I have also fully read Fast Food Nation by Eric Schlosser, a gripping narrative about fast food and related industries (meat, potatoes, synthetic flavors), a book which I respect and recommend. So, to show a bit of pseudo-journalistic objectivity: I similarly have very little respect for massive meat processors. Their goal is to slaughter and butcher as many animals as physically possible at the absolute least cost.

That said, if PETA’s footage is legitimate, and their accusations are verifiable, I would fully support the five, resonable recommendations outlined in PETA’s surprisingly respectable letter to the Orthodox Union to ameliorate the accused inhumane practices.

—–

Unfortunately, I’ve learned over my several years of keeping kosher that “kosher” only means “ritually fit” — it does not mean “clean,” and it does not mean “friendly,” and it does not mean “pleasant.” That can probably be said of the rest of halachah, in that one may succeed in strictly following the letter of the Torah, but end up a spiritual failure due to a lack of derech eretz.

Similarly, we must consider kosher slaughter with such terms as derech eretz and hiddur mitzvah (enhancing the commandment). The Agriprocessors folks may insist they’re operating within the letter of the law — in fact, they claim to also be operating within the spirit of the law — but that should not preclude us from continually improving our shechita technology and processes whenever possible, from going beyond the call of moral duty, even if the suggestions come from such a morally-questionable group as PETA.

Kashrut has historically been at the forefront of animal humaneness. Agriprocessors states proudly:

Long before the rest of the world showed any “common decency” to animals or had the slightest concern for the treatment of animals, the laws of the Torah and rabbinic teachings command the Jewish people to treat all living creatures humanely. Secular society — including [PETA] — has still not caught up with the precepts of Jewish law in this regard.

Even with this in mind, we can’t rest on our communal laurels. We must use our law and our history as a guide to further our commitment to humane treatment of animals, to serve as an ever greater example to others in that regard, and to make us the ones who tell PETA how to operate.

Tonight on Food Network, at 9PM Eastern, “BBQ with Bobby Flay” will be profiling Jeff’s Gourmet Kosher Sausage of Los Angeles in a “BBQ Holiday” episode. If you miss it, it’ll also be on at the following times:

December 01, 2004 9:00 PM ET/PT
December 02, 2004 1:00 AM ET/PT
December 04, 2004 7:00 PM ET/PT
December 15, 2004 9:00 PM ET/PT
December 16, 2004 1:00 AM ET/PT

Hopefully, I’ll be able to put aside my fierce distaste of Flay’s smarm and tune in

My favorite kosher Thanksgiving guest is an easy mouth to please — she has open-minded taste buds and is just so happy to get out of NYC and take a nice field trip to good old Randolph, Massachusetts! My mother bought a box of these pareve cookies — Paskesz’s Mint Creme — and we could not believe they were pareve. They are better than any cookie we’ve ever had. PERFECT FOR SHABBAT! Warning: The box will be gone before you know it.