When I first saw the La Briute website, featuring self-heating kosher meals, I thought it was an amazing concept. Since I don’t often travel where I don’t have access to kosher food, I never had a legitimate chance to try one, until today. Home with a migraine, I didn’t want to fuss with lunch, so while out for a quick trip to the kosher market, I picked up what looked like a perfectly appetizing meal — the La Briute Turkey and Mashed Potatoes Meal.

I got home, popped open the box, followed the instructions and left my meal to heat. First “red flag” — the chemical reaction necessary to heat the food started spewing what looked like smoke… and it smelled terrible. Well, the “smoke” was actually steam, so no big troubles there. After 14 minutes, I popped open the box, slid out the sealed plastic dish, peeled off the top with great anticipation, and spilled the contents out onto a plate.

Let me tell you — these La Briute folks should be sued for misrepresentation of their product. See for yourself: compare the marketing picture to the sorry excuse for turkey and potatoes I found.

Yes, those red circular things are supposed to be slices of turkey. This is one case where I’m not willing to say, “Well, I should just feel lucky that some sort of kosher meal options exists at all.” Give me a break!

Often, the wittiest anecdotes to Modern Orthodox life come when we attempt merging those two seemingly discordant modes that define us: the “modern” and the “Orthodox.”

A lawyer friend invited me to a firm reception, hosted in a posh East Village club. Never one to turn down cheap eats I happily accepted. And, so, our heroine found herself spending yesterday evening with the crè­¥ of America’s fledgling legal elite–shaking a few hands, sharing a few ambulance jokes, and wholly indistinguishable from the rest of the crowd except for her rather apparent lack of exposed cleavage (which I’m convinced at least one partner picked up on) and the blue kippah srugya perched neatly atop her friend’s head.

Then came dinner. Prime rib for one hundred and fifty and shrink-wrapped Abigael’s for two. After freeing the pre-packaged food from its cellophane prison, with more than a little help from a handily toiveled Swiss Army knife, our heroine committed, for her companion’s amusement, the supposedly grievous sin of consuming sushi and chicken in the same forkful. When he ran off promptly thereafter, I figured that witnessing my brazen lack of chumra?dik-ness had sent his nerves into a tail dive.

Lo and behold, he reemerged moments later with the greatest find I’ve ever seen in a treyf joint, an unopened, yes, unopened
bottle of kosher wine. (Perhaps he hoped that liquoring me up might prevent future violations of presumed halakhah.) Only problem was, his trusty Swiss Army knife didn?t have a corkscrew.

I made for the bar, hoping to swipe one off a waiter. The ensuing dialogue:

Waiter: “Why do you need it?”
Heroine: “To open our wine.” (points to table and thinks “duh”)
Waiter: “Yeah, I offered to open it but the guy flat-out refused.”
Heroine: “Well, you know, we wanted to do it ourselves. The thrill of the hunt.”

I smiled a secret smile to myself as I went back to our table, where I proceeded to get horrifically tipsy on the finest Rashi’s got to offer.

Seems like “bot a blog” didn’t work at all, so there’s a new Subscription sign-up box in the right-hand bar, powered by Bloglet. If you sign up, you’ll receive a daily e-mail whenever there’s new content.

Last Sunday, on a trip back home to Randolph, I stopped off at the local bagel shop, Zeppy’s, for a dozen and some shmeers. Sarah and I have been devoted Rosenfeld’s customers since our marriage 13 months ago, but I thought it would be a nice trip down memory lane to enjoy the bagels I grew up on and whose honor I have defended against insolent New Yorkers over the years.

So, I show up at my parents’ house, mom makes me up a sesame bagel with cocktail spread (cream cheese blended with lox bits and scallions), I take one bite, and my instant response: “This bagel is TERRIBLE!” What happened to the soft but chewy interior, and the slightly crisp crust?

Well, it’s widely suspected that since Zeppy’s built a massive addition several years ago to support increased retail distribution the quality has gone downhill. Without a doubt, this recent experience only reenforces my worst fears — that the Zeppy’s “baigel” would converge with that from the other massive Randolph-based institution: Dunkin’ Donuts. Yes, Zeppy’s has been transformed into some overly-soft, mediocre, and uninspired bread thing.

In the past few years, there have several attempts, on many levels, to promote the purchase of products from Israel while the country suffers from a generally depressed economy. Those initiatives taken through the Internet have been lackluster at best. FineFoodsIsrael.com, a project of Israel’s Ministry of Industry and Trade (and others), shows promise but ultimately falls short, with scant information about U.S. retailers and limited search capabilities. ShopInIsrael.com, a volunteer venture, has a very large compilation of retailers and producers of Israeli products, but it’s not so well organized and has a very rudimentary visual design.

As for online retailers, there have been a handful of sites offering a limited selection of Israeli foods. A. Zara carries commonplace products like Bisli, Bamba, Elite chocolate, and dehydrated soups. Sites like IsraelDirect and Israeli Wishes also carry some nicer items like spices and honeys. But IsraelDirect only has gift packs, and a very unprofessional interface that does not inspire e-commerce confidence. At Israeli Wishes, detailed product information is very limited and it lacks any sort of personal touch.

The latest addition to the Shop Israel community, and the subject of this review, is Zahava Foods, based in West Orange, New Jersey. Store owner Gayle Schindler is committed to providing the personal touch missing elsewhere: “We want to introduce our customers to the farmers and the kibbutzniks, the families that are growing and producing these wonderful products.”

We were lucky enough to receive a sampling of Zahava Foods products, nicely packaged in a gift basket. Some of the more interesting items were:

* Tivit Roasted Peanut and Sesame Snacks, great low carb snacks that give you a little crunch and a little sweetness without sugar, cholesterol, or gluten. Perfect for Dad’s diabetic diet.

* Pereg Rice Mix with almonds, cranberries, and toasted coconut; worked very well mixed in with white long-grain rice while cooking (though a little tough to figure out proper quantities since the instructions are all in Hebrew)

* Honey and Halva Spread, a delicious spread for snacking — not too sweet, not too thick… just keep an eye on the saturated fat.

Gayle also included a sample honey jar which was quite crystalized and didn’t lend itself to drizzling onto our challah. Fortunately, the website has information about how to undo crystalization. We also tried Onion-Poppy “Bible Bread” and roasted pumpkin seeds.

The site includes several other high-quality products, including preserves, olive oil, Wissotzky tea, herb mixes, olives, pickles, couscous, techina, and body lotions. Recipes using their products are available, too.

Another notable aspect of the site is that, beyond supporting Israel by selling its products, Zahava Foods donates a percentage of its profits to charities that support Israel like ORT, AMIT, and Hadassah.

Overall, ZahavaFoods.com is aesthetically pleasant, the people behind it are personable and committed to Israel, and there’s an interesting range of products. These three things set Zahava apart from what’s currently out there on the Internet. I forsee their main challenge, though, being offline — there’s an ever-growing availability of Israeli products from our local retailers. The Butcherie has long had a wide selection of Israeli products (including frozen and refrigerated items), and just recently, Shaw’s Supermarkets expanded their Israeli offerings with a full line of body products. For those people who don’t live in significant Jewish communities, Zahava Foods is a fine resource. But they must maintain a good selection of out-of-the-ordinary, cutting-edge, or simply tough-to-find products if they expect to garner business from those of us with ample supply of Israeli oils, herbs, honeys, vegetables, teas, spreads, and body products in our nearby shops and markets.

Finally, to be true to my trade, I have a few site design suggestions:
* Include the product category icons (visible at “Go Shopping”) on the home page so people immediately know what’s for sale.
* The category listing under the “Go Shopping” menu item should always be visible for navigational ease
* On a shopping site, I’m always hesitant to buy something without a picture. Keep adding them, even for mundane items.
* Offer pre-defined gift basket selections
* More shipping information, plus a shipping calculator

Just popping in to see if I cast a shadow, and to let you know that the Orthodox Union is launching a new consumer website. Make sure to check out their “Seven Steps to Certification.”

Think we can get a heksher on Jabbett’s kitchen? Here’s hoping!

The Metrowest Raw Milk Drive Share will be starting bi-weekly in early August (8/7). The pickup point will be in Waltham. Contact Dave Cushing - dcushing84 at aol dot com - to get more information and a copy of the waiver form.

Zman, over at Biur Chametz, is also exploring the wonderful world of kosher cheesemaking. A desire for fresh cottage cheese started his fascinating journey through science, halakha, and camels.

When searching specifically for kosher products or recipes on Google, add -”kosher salt” to your query to decrease false positives.

More word through the grapevine from Sha’arei Tefillah’s Rabbi Samuels:

[T]he owners of Gordon and Alperin intend to open a new Shomer-Shabbat kosher bakery in the same space now occupied by Tuler’s. No word yet on how soon it will open, but it will certainly be open by the end of the summer.

Thanks, Ben!

I’m a web developer by trade, so I’ve heard plenty about the Microsoft security nonsense surrounding Internet Explorer. I’ve also noticed a steady increase in the number of non-IE visitors to the blog. Having just visited the site with the Firefox browser, I see that the style sheet and layout certainly aren’t being rendered as nicely as in I.E. As such, I’ll try to update the Kosher Blog code to accommodate Mozilla/Firefox users as soon as I can.

Anyone else notice that the selection of Ortega Mexican seasoning mixes (and other related products) at Shaw’s has been dwindling into nothingness? For a few months now, I haven’t been able to find Ortega taco or fajita seasoning, and whenever I check at Shaw’s, there’s usually only a single box of Ortega burrito mix on the shelf, surrounded by scads of Old El Paso and Chi Chi’s products, which aren’t kosher. What gives?

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As reported in the Newton Tab and confirmed by Rabbi Samuels at Congregation Sha’arei Tefillah, Tuler’s Bakery in Newton Centre is going out of business. The owner has not been able to find a suitable baker to take the business over, and must close his doors this Friday (July 16).

From the Newton Tab:

Every Friday for more than a decade, Tuler’s bakery on Commonwealth Avenue has sold hundreds of challahs. As one of the city’s only kosher bakeries, it’s a top-selling item, along with the bakery’s famous cinnamon horns, a frozen-dough-like pastry.

But come this Friday, Tuler’s many loyal customers will have to buy their bread and bagels elsewhere because the 12-year-old bakery is shutting down.

According to Steve Perry, the manager of Tuler’s Bakery, the bakery is closing because the owner and head baker is under doctor’s orders to stop baking, after recently undergoing back surgery.

Perry declined to give the owner’s last name, referring only to him and his wife as “Mike and Gail.” He said the bakery has about 10 employees.

Though the future plans for the storefront are unknown, Perry said the bakery’s closing will affect the local Jewish community and change some people’s regular routines.

Here’s our first stab at a list of the top products and initiatives we’d like to see made real in the kosher community. Some of them seem perfectly doable, others don’t have a snowball’s chance, but are included for sake of discussion. Feel free to comment, and please let us know if any of them already exist or eventually come into being.

AGED BALSAMIC VINEGAR
Some time ago, Emeril Lagasse did a show-and-tell on his show of the different grades of balsamic vinegar, ranging in consistencies from water to motor oil. The truly aged varieties are thick, sweet and used in scant flavorful quantities. Nothing in the kosher world comes close. Two demerits if you even suggest Bartenura’s “Special Reserve” vinegar.

A FANCY KOSHER RESTAURANT IN BOSTON
When it comes to a high-powered business dinner or a hot date, Ta’am China just doesn’t cut it. Rubin’s already has fancy-restaurant prices (see their weekly specials or that $26 rib steak) but I’d have a more elegant atmosphere without leaving my kitchen! Now, this theoretical restaurant (that we’ve all pined for at some time or another) doesn’t have to be old-school, with a snooty maître d’ and tuxedoed waiters. In my mind, it could very well be a hip, upscale place with great quality, great service, and a dimly-lit, romantic atmosphere. I’d do it myself if I could … anyone have cash and experience to couple with my vision?

CHICKEN DEEMED PAREVE
Certainly, with proper product labeling and yirat shamayim, modern Jews could carefully discern between chicken and beef. Let’s assmble the gedolim of our generation and make chicken pareve! The Conservative “Committee on Jewish Laws and Standards” could get us started, and maybe, by the end of my lifetime, it’ll catch on throughout the entire Jewish world. Like the idea? Show your support with an official bumper sticker, available at the Kosher Blog Online Store, which is now chock-full of interesting products.

STEP-BY-STEP KASHRUT GUIDE
KosherBlogger ColumbiaAuds points out the need for better step-by-step guides on getting into keeping kosher. Taking on kashrut is very difficult without proper guidance, and the sheer expense and hard work required can be a complete turn-off to those who might be spiritually inclined to kashrut, but afraid or unable to take one huge step. Plus, there are familial issues that need attention — how to get one’s children or spouse involved, how to handle relatives and family gatherings that aren’t kosher. Most of the books on kashrut I’ve read are very heavy on halacha — invalid mixtures, kashering processes — and there’s little practical introductory material on the lines of “how do I gradually change my treif home into a kosher home.”

HARD-TO-FIND ASIAN SAUCES
I’ve had dishes with black bean sauce at kosher Chinese restaurants, so why can’t I buy fermented black beans, or black bean sauce? Along similar lines, KosherBlogger Tovah would like kosher nam pla, a salty, fermented fish sauce with an extremely pungent odor, popular throughout Southeast Asia.

BROTH/STOCK
Kosher beef broth (not the pareve powder) and kosher fish stock can’t be too tough to produce.

JUNK FOOD
Two e-mail requests for kosherized Skittles, plus requests for Starburst, Nerds, and Life-Savers. And what’s the deal with low-fat baked potato chips — why aren’t any of them kosher yet?

KASHRUT CERTIFICATION DISCLOSURES
Some widely-respected rabbinical authority on kashrut should formulate a detailed survey to be answered by all certification agencies as a formal disclosure of their standard practices (inspections, halachic leniencies, etc.) so we can move toward a standard, objective method of comparing hekshers without urban legends and lashon hara. It’s a long shot, but a boy can dream.

After seeing full-page ads on the subject in Yated Ne’eman recently, KBlog reader Tzvi wrote in to inform us that not all Kedem grape juices are mevushal — only certain bottle sizes.

According to a Star-K February 2004 alert:

* Sparkling Grape Juices are mevushal.
* The 32 oz., 64 oz., and 96 oz. plastic bottles are mevushal.
* The 22 oz. and 6.3 oz glass bottles are mevushal according to the opinion of Rav Moshe Feinstein zt?l and are not mevushal according to the Tzelihmer Rav zt?l.
* The 1.5 liter (50.7 oz.) glass bottles are not mevushal and state so on the bottle.

If mention of the word “mevushal” gets you all hot and bothered, please direct your comments to earlier threads.

A fun alternative to lasagna: substitute slices of polenta for lasagna noodles. Most supermarkets these days (Shaw’s, Stop & Shop, Butcherie included) are selling kosher, ready-made, non-refrigerated polenta in cylindrical tubes a la Pilsbury cookie dough. Polenta itself is incredibly versatile, and it’s pareve, too, so you can use it for fleishig applications as well. For lasagna, just cut it into circular slices, layer with sauce and cheese, and bake. The recipe that follows is very loose right now; I’ll formalize it when I make it next.POLENTA LASAGNA (first draft)

Ingredients
1 tube ready-made polenta (around 1.5 lb)
1 jar Barilla “Al Forno” Baking sauce
2 cups ricotta cheese
1/2 cup freshly-grated parmesan cheese
1 large egg, beaten
plenty of shredded mozzarella

Equipment
13×9 baking dish

* Mix ricotta, parmesan, and egg together.
* Slice polenta into 1/4″ rounds.
* Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
* Cover bottom of baking dish with about one third of sauce
* Layer half of polenta slices in dish, then spread ricotta mixture on it. Pour on one third of sauce, then sprinkle half of mozzarella.
* Add remaining polenta slices, cover with remaining third of sauce and remaining cheese.
* Bake 30-40 minutes, or until cheese is lightly browned.

Last night, we had a friend over, and in the course of the evening, we discussed organic foods and the vegetarian lifestyle. At one point, I made reference to “Bread & Circus,” our local predecessor to “Whole Foods Market.” Our guest insisted, “call it Whole Foods! Bread & Circus was local, small, ours… what exists now is just some national corporation.”

I wondered — how could a monolith like Whole Foods live up to the ideals of the earthy-crunchy organic movement? Isn’t the process of buying up successful local businesses and consolodating them a markedly un-organic idea? This must simply be another case of selling out!

By shear coincidence, my coworked had a copy of this month’s “Fast Company” magazine, which includes a fascinating article on Whole Foods and its CEO John Mackey. Bottom line is that their Woodstock-era management strategies are still in full effect even after expanding to umpteen stores (including a giant location in Manhattan with 468 employees) … read the article for the full picture, it’s heartwarming.

Now if the organic movement could only lose that militant, anarchic, unwashed image, average Americans might even catch on.

We had a nice gathering last week for Etan and Amy’s sheva brachos, and the food went over pretty well. I’ll be posting a few recipes from the evening, due to popular request. This recipe, baked risotto, is a modification of one I found from a Google search with the ingredients doubled and altered slightly. I wanted to serve risotto, but I didn’t want to sit over it stirring and stirring. This one bakes for forty minutes instead, and worked out pretty well. It’s not exactly like a “real” risotto, but it’s about half the work.BAKED RISOTTO
with spinach, roasted peppers, and parmesan

* 2 T olive oil
* 2 T butter
* 2 C arborio (short grain) rice
* 2 C finely chopped onion
* 1 pkg. frozen spinach, cooked according to package directions
* 4 C (1 carton) Imagine “No Chicken” Broth
* 1/2 t kosher salt
* 1/2 t nutmeg
* 1 C freshly grated parmesan cheese
* 4 roasted red peppers (jarred are perfect), sliced into thin strips

Preheat oven to 400 F. Grease a 13×9-inch baking dish with nonstick cooking spray.

Heat a large pot or skillet on medium-high. Add butter and olive oil. Add onion and saute until translucent. Stir in rice and saute until rice has some color. Stir in cooked spinach, then add broth salt and nutmeg. Reduce heat and simmer for 7 minutes. Stir in 1/2 C cheese.

Pour soupy rice mixture into baking dish. Cover with aluminum foil and bake 20 minutes. Remove from oven, stir in remaining cheese, cover again, and cook another 20 minutes or until liquid is absorbed. Serve at once.

I’m going to come out and say it right off the bat: Bruno was our favorite dining experience of all during our trip to Israel, and proved without a doubt that there’s great kosher dining in Tel Aviv.

Bruno is located on the third floor of the mall which makes up the base of the lively Azrieli Center — just take the escalators all the way up. The restaurant itself has two floors, the second of which was filled with a Ministry of Defense dinner (strange trend, eh?). Though we didn’t have a reservation, we got a great table right by the open kitchen where we could watch live grilling action, and fresh loaves emerging from their brick oven.

The hostess caught on that we spoke English, so she sent over Bruno’s best English-speaking waitress — beyond the food, she was a big reason we loved this restaurant. After being seated, she explained the make-up of their prix fixe meal: a wide selection of small appetizer dishes, salad, a sizzling mound of grilled meats, and dessert.

The appetizer selection was quite clever: six individual square dishes, refilled as often as necessary, of such things as roasted peppers, pickled fish, perfectly-done baby asparagus, mushrooms, and a strange Israeli vegetable that was like a thin, extra-long green bean. We were also served hot flat bread (for some reason, they call it foccacia, though it was quite like Indian nan) — excellent — and a mild hummus that I’m certain wasn’t made from chick peas (perhaps cannelini beans?) which was a refreshing change from the typical garlic-ridden varieties typically served in Israel. We had to seriously restrain ourselves from filling up on these delicious starters.

Next came salad and a surprising roasted eggplant dish. I’m not usually into eggplant unless it’s deep-fried and covered with sauce and cheese, but this dish made me an aubergine aficionado. Two petite roasred eggplants, split open, and served with a cool, smooth sauce — wow.

When the meat arrived, we were uncertain how much more we could eat, but, boy, did we. A large butcher-block slab was placed on our table stacked high with roasted potato wedges, roasted chicken, grilled steak, lamb kebabs, and a hunk of prime rib (an optional addition). Though the beef was cooked more than I usually like it, I ate heartily and happily. One thing to be aware of — your meat will be served along with a single fried egg; no idea why.

Dessert was a spectacle in and of itself. Since we were first-timers, and had by now established a good repore with our waitress, she treated us to an assortment of their available desserts: one large plate of molten chocolate souffles, a sorbet assortment (mint, coconut, and melon), and a stewed pear. The only downside to dessert was the pear, which was difficult to cut into with just a spoon.

Not only did our wonderful waitress pack up all the meat we couldn’t finish, she also snuck in four more delicious chocolate souffles, ready to pop into the oven for the Shabbat dinner we would share with our friends that weekend.

I’d say that if you have one restaurant to enjoy in Tel Aviv, make it Bruno, and sit by the kitchen.

After reading the reviews on eLuna.com, I thought L’Alhambra in Jaffa would be a splendid spot for us to enjoy our first anniversary dinner. They have an online form for making reservations (doing so is recommended), but we asked the concierge at our hotel to call for us, which was very helpful.

When we arrived after a short taxi ride, we were promptly seated in a cozy table on the tastefully decorated second floor. The restaurant wasn’t crowded, but soon filled up with a larger gathering in the private room and a group that seemed like a Ministry of Defense consulting meeting.

Our meal began with bread and the house pates (eggplant, salmon, and liver). Though the pates were interesting, the rolls were mediocre. Guys, work on your bread: the first thing you serve your guests had better be spectacular — otherwise, don’t bother.

Now, I know we’ve discussed the unfortunate living conditions which provide us with fattened goose liver, but I must admit that I heartily took up the opportunity to try foie gras — just once. For an appetizer, I enjoyed four healthy slices of pate with toast rounds and a delicious apple chutney. The foie gras pate was like butter. Imagine chicken liver but incredibly mild and creamy.

Sarah, taken aback by all the liver-infused appetizer selections, stuck with a simple salad.

I wrestled between choosing lamb or beef for an entree and ultimately chose the beef filet served with mushrooms, sage, and red wine sauce. Each component of the meal was perfectly cooked. Sarah’s choice was the grilled chicken breast in balsamic sauce and hot goose liver, served over eggplant. In her words, the chicken was “ordinary,” but the eggplant and sauce were excellent. She especially liked the large potato pancake served with our meals.

Dessert consisted of creme caramel and peach “pie” (actually a tart), which were fine conclusions to our meals.

After dessert and coffee were served, the piano player started playing “happy birthday” and a dish of ice cream with a sparkler in it emerged from the kitchen. I looked around to find the table it might belong to as it moved in our direction. I gave Sarah a puzzled look as it was placed between us. I responded to the unexpected gesture with a smile and a nod. “A birthday? Yes, yes, sure!”

Sarah theorized that they confused “anniversary” (mentioned in my electronic reservation) with the French “anniversaire,” or “birthday.” In any case, it was very nice.

L’Alhambra gets high marks for good service, quality food, and elegant decor. However, it was a challenge, as we experienced at several Israeli restaurants, to get our bill. Perhaps folks in the holy land like to spend an inordinate amount of time lounging before paying. We also both thought that the lighting would have been more romantic if it was dimmer, something the eLuna reviewers didn’t mind. Another thing to keep in mind when eating out is having cash on hand for tipping. Several establishments either did not include a “tip” line on the credit card slip or, like L’Alhambra, insisted on cash.

(One potentially important thing to note: the ‘glatt’ in ‘glatt kosher’ on the sign outside seems to have been recently removed.)